Hospital

[ghostgirlkal89]

 i am so so so alone, i have been thinking about the hospital a lot recently.
i think psychiatrists and therapists are fucking retarded,
trying to feed you medication so you are docile .

i feel like a robot on my meds; no happiness, sadness, or anything ...
like i am trapped inside my head, watching my life play out like a fucking movie.
hospitals are no help either. they frame it like a vacation from your everyday struggles,
but they treat you like a fucking zoo animal in there .

i have had no energy to do anything, nothing amuses me or is fun for me, 
i have not played video games or drawn anything for myself.

i genuinely think i will end my life before i grow out of my 30s.
this sounds like a long time .. but reading entries from perps gives me so much hope!

,,yesterday i thought i would do it today, today i think i will do it tomorrow'' - pekka
and andrew wrote in her journal about being afraid to put the barrel in her mouth.
they were afraid at one point, but they got the job done. one day
everyone will actually see me: when i break free from my skull and flesh